The pathway of freedom from constant digital connection
Here I bring you my experiences of how you can go offline and do what really matters
When I'm at the drugstore, at a café or buying groceries, wherever I go there are screens. The era of LCD-screens started around 15 years ago, suddenly digital ads filled up the short moments of the day where we still could relax from distractions: While waiting in line.
I wondered why annoying displays became a trend since electronic devices pollute the environment even more and I innocently thought the ruthless conversion of land, water and wild animals into things to sell should slowly come to a halt.
But there was no slowing down of the age of the machines. By contrast it accelerated so much so that our lifestyle became intertwined with all the cellphones, laptops, displays and smart things as if humanity depended on it.
Now every step we take our smart watch watches us, we don't phone on a phone anymore instead we cling to social media feeds and Wall Street trades shares of fish, metals and wood in miliseconds, letting machines decide about the fate of the land and it's people.
Wherever we work these days we now have to gain digital competency in order to learn how to work together with a robot instead of a coffee drinking, talkative coworker.
A culture of comfort
The goal of the age of machines is to bring in more money, time and independence, a better GPD and a second yacht for your boss.
A higher competition for nations at the market and a chair at the desk of the rulers of the world.
Machines function based on logic, it seems somehow that we can't question their authority being unstable and whimsy as we are as humans with neurons and hormones.
Yet that life on a whim, the zest for life and it's deepest mystery - the machine takes it away from us.
In this current society we have to re-learn to re-connect with real experiences and dis-mantle the devices, if we want to keep a sane mind and a thriving natural world.
This starts by changing the behaviour and belief systems in our own daily lives.
Unsurprisingly, daily life is not as exciting as the latest Netflix-show and not as glossy like a lipstick presented by ones favourite Youtuber. It is rather normal and boring, sometimes dreadful and even horrifying.
Therefore the online world is a cozy place to hide from reality, it gives us instant pleasure and a sense of ease - in the short-run.
But long-term it makes us socially insecure and let's mental illnesses skyrocket because the joy of life doesn't come from being your tablet's best friend.
Just a book and some music
When I first started my journey of digital disconnection, I was constantly watching online series and it made me feel nervous and tired, I yearned for a break. One day I put my phone into flight mode and forgot about it for half of the day, the laptop stayed switched-off in the evenings.
Being offline reminded me of my youth in the nineties where life was "disconnected" naturally, there was a quite, present flair around ones way of life. Immerging myself into romantic and historical novels was the way to relax after school. There was no television to distract me either.
This memory serves me as an intention today of how my life should be like, at least for a few hours of the day.
I'm not alone in striving for better online behaviour: Digital detox has become a trend right now.
That's good.
But it's strange to me to invent the internet, display it in every corner of the world, make everyone addicted to it and then name experts to give us tips about how to get away from all the digital devices that haven't been there in the first place. Gosh.
Here we are, tolerating the dissonance of a culture out of touch with reality.
That's why I want to share with you five ideas that can help you to build a better online behaviour so that you can spend more time with what really matters.
1. Setting intentions or goals:
Make a note each day about what kind of media you consumed and how long it took. This gives you an overview of how "out of control" your online behaviour is.
Also note down how certain things you consume on the web make you feel. Let's say you watch horror movies, observe how you feel while and after watching it.
You can also note if something made you feel good or educated on a certain topic.
How your note could look like:
News mainstream: 30 minutes, stressed out
Podcast wildlife: 20 minutes, worried, but inspired
Social media: 30 minutes, envy, distracted from XYZ.
Horror movie: 120 minutes, anxious
These are just examples, no judgement here.
Observe your online behaviour for around two weeks, this makes you find a pattern of the effects a certain type of media has on you.
Once you've recognized what wears you down, set an intention by writing this sentence:
I ___(your name)___ will not consume any more __(media)__.
In order not to have a "cold turkey" some people prefer to gradually decrease consuming their bad internet habits to a healthy level. For example you can set an intention this way:
I will only watch one movie per week and only on the weekends.
Let's be honest, the transition to a digital disconnection isn't easy and sometimes good habits take a while in order to establish. Therefore stop judging yourself when you fall back into old habits again, just accept it and try to shift the focus on your intention.
But what can you do when you miss your shows, series etc. too much? That's where point two steps in.
2. Finding an alternative:
In order to get away from harmful online behaviour, try to establish a good one. That way you can focus on an alternative instead of putting yourself under pressure of not using the web whatsoever.
Watch, listen or read content that makes you a happier, more evolved person:
watch wildlife or travel documentaries in order to learn about the endless diversity of our planet
find a channel that streams deep and well researched topics
listen to a podcast that talks about one of your hobbies.
That still means being online, but now rather inspired and educated.
The problem with this second point is that you have to skim through many channels until you find a good creator or journalist. That comes with the fact that the web is interactive, any fool can publish his opinion and the algorithm rewards the most scandalous content.
So even when finding alternatives, try to keep it simple and avoid too much time online.
After you've established a healthier internet behaviour and ditched all the addicting social media feeds, observe how it makes you feel. Are you calmer now, can you concentrate better?
3. Recognizing real from fake:
The screen you watch is a dead thing, it doesn't show real actors, it shows a video of actors.
That's one thing I've learned in photography school: a photo of someone is not the real person, it's just a photo of that person. It sounds lame to even mention it, but when you apply this rule to every visual you watch, you won't believe anything so fast what they try to sell you.
The person smiling in a video could be depressed in real life. A photo of a beautiful landscape doesn't show the pollution happening there, because the photographer chose to take a snippet only from the non-polluted parts.
Then he writes a caption that says: Paradise still exists. And boom - we believe it.
The glamour, the wealth or the cruel news, they have been reported by a human being, who choses to show certain parts of the scenery or to omiss them. Everything you see and read is brought to you by a biased person, becauses she has a certain educational and personal background.
That's why asking the following questions helps you to distinguish between credible and not so credible publications:
Who runs the website of the information you found? Is it an independent website or financed by certain stakeholders? You can find the information under the copyright or the about page and research about the producers or authors.
Does the information of this media outlet have a goal like selling a product or pushing a certain opinion?
Is the website or social media account know for it's credibility? What do other media channels say about it?
Was the content well researched and editorially reviewed before publishing?
Can you check the statements for truthfullness? Which sources are linked and are they also valid?
Are the arguments plausible that people or organizations publish?
What other websites link to this media outlet?
What do the comments or ratings of users say?
It's always good to remain sceptic online and evaluate the positions and information you find.
4. Expanding your relations:
Instead of listening to a Youtuber, find meaning in real conversations. Be it in talking to a passenger you meet on your walk, to a shop assistant in a small store or calling a friend on the phone instead of just messaging.
Be adventurous when starting something that you haven't done before, like a new hobby or visiting a foreign place. These experiences will become good memories which inspire us to create the next adventure.
Then you can make new friends as well. For example last fall I started singing in a choir, which brings me a wide joy and learning the songs strengthens my concentration. I met a friend there whose dog we often take for walks.
Because reading the news makes us feel desperate, getting engaged for a good cause is the ultimate state of building relations.
In helping other beings who are in need, be it humans, animals or nature we not only take from life but we give back.
Being active is the antidote against feeling paralyzed and passive in front of a display.
We can't stop all the wars and disasters happening, but we can start in our own world.
Maybe you can find a grassroots group that helps protect your local forest, saves wildlife or serves children in need where you can offer your talents or learn something new, it will surely be rewarding.
If you can't actively help because of your job or family situation, you can always make a difference in donating to a trustworthy small organization.
Lastly when we think of relations we mostly think about humans, but meeting animals or plants can be a form of embodied connection.
Every being on this earth is interconnected to one another and we as humans are part of this wonder. When you are outside on a meadow or in the woods then consciously relate to the plants and wildlife around you.
When you breathe in, imagine exchanging air with the trees.
Feel into your heart and quietly whisper: I'm truly connected to every being around me.
Doing this repeatedly you'll come into a homeostasis, a state where stress falls off and we start to heal old wounds and our restless mind.
5. Creating your own content:
Only around 10% of users online are producers, which means most people only consume what the web has to offer. When you start your own Youtube channel or write a blog like I do, then you behave more empowered in the online world, because you can express your unique vision.
Of course by that I don't mean becoming an influencer who's only in it for the money.
But if you have a good idea that can help make the world a better place, then publishing this project online will reach your audience and can inspire them to do the same.
Creating your own digital platform can be an expansion of your already established purpose, so keep the focus on your intentions and don't burn out presenting it online.
Wisely choosing how much and what kind of media we consume is key to navigate this age of the machines. I suggest we stay human and try to protect the biological and spiritual principals that build the basis of life rather than loosing our true nature in an artificial world.
Let me know in the comments what is your favourite way of getting back on track with real life connections?
Glad the mini-list is useful. Another is outside, standing in one place for a few minutes and 'doing nothing' i.e. "being present in the moment!", looking around...then i notice/experience what i otherwise wouldn't have: an ant scurrying up/down a tree trunk... and birds typically notice the stillness and come closer saying 'hi'...
Thx, Benja. Chock-full of good suggestions allowing people to choose their specific pathways of balancing the different worlds and feeling rooted with the Earth and relating with all beings. One of my favorite ways is a list of: looking through the window or stepping outside to look around, breathe the air, feel my feet rooted with Earth, etc., or a more extended experience of gardening or a walk. And whether indoors or outdoors, sitting and contemplating/meditating.